Why Mindfulness Practice Matters for Trauma Healing

Have you ever tried mindfulness and thought, “This just isn’t working—I can’t calm down”? You’re not broken. Your body is simply doing what it was designed to do: keep you safe.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explores why mindfulness practice truly matters, especially for trauma survivors, people of faith, and anyone learning to live in the present after a history of overwhelm or abuse.

You’ll discover how mindfulness helps regulate the nervous system, reconnects body and soul, and creates space for spiritual peace and safety. We’ll unpack common myths (“mindfulness is just sitting still”), share trauma-informed ways to begin, and offer practical grounding tools you can use right now—no incense or perfection required.

Whether you’re healing from complex trauma, navigating anxiety, or simply craving calm, this episode will help you learn to notice without judgment and live with compassion.

Resources Mentioned:
TIP Skill - https://taking-every-thought-captive.teachable.com/p/bonus-skill

Sign up to learn more about the updated Mindful Connection online course - https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/MyzTv00PzvenmNzassWC

🎧  If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

 This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?

You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

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📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
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🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
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👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know...

Chapters

• 1:18 Rethinking Mindfulness And Safety
• 2:18 Show Welcome And Faith-Grounded Lens
• 3:23 What Mindfulness Is And Isn’t
• 5:15 Trauma, The Body, And Regulation
• 5:39 Debunking Myths And Biblical Framing
• 8:22 The TIPP Skill Explained
• 12:49 Building A Personal Toolkit
• 15:03 Start Small With Sensory Practices

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:39

If you've ever tried mindfulness and thought, this isn't working, I can't calm down. You're not broken. Your body's just been doing its job and trying to keep you safe. But there is another way to meet yourself with compassion instead of control. And also, mindfulness isn't just about being still. And today, we're gonna talk about it. Welcome to Hey Tabby, the podcast where we talk about the hard things out loud with our actual lips.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05

We'll cover all kinds of topics across the mental health spectrum, including how it intersects with the Christian faith. Nothing is off limits here, and we are not take two verses and call me in the morning.

SPEAKER_01: 1:16

I'm Tabitha Westbrook, and I'm a licensed trauma therapist, but I'm not your trauma therapist. I'm an expert in domestic abuse and coercive control and how complex trauma impacts our health and well-being. Our focus here is knowledge and healing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29

Trauma doesn't have to eat your lunch forever. There is hope. Now, let's get going.

SPEAKER_01: 1:38

Welcome to this week's episode of Hey Tabby. I am so glad that you are here with me. This week, we are going to talk about what mindfulness is, what mindfulness isn't, and how you can actually learn how to enter in. And I'm going to have a really cool offer for you at the end of this podcast as well. So I want to just talk to you about how many clients have come to me over the years and said, I don't think mindfulness works for me. I don't even understand it. What are we doing here? And a lot of times they are in that place because they haven't really been taught what mindfulness truly is. It's not about shoehorning calm into a stressful environment. That is not going to work. What it really is, is just about noticing your present moment with compassion. And when we have been through abuse and chronic stress, our nervous system often perceives anything where we start paying attention or start to get a little bit still as dangerous. And that makes a lot of sense, right? Our nervous system is primed to protect us. It is absolutely part of how God designed our good bodies. And that really matters. So I want to give you a good definition of what mindfulness actually is. Mindfulness isn't just sitting and emptying all of your thoughts out of your head through your ear. That's not what it is at all. Although sometimes being still and not thinking a ton is actually really good and helpful. But that's not the only way that we engage in mindfulness. It's also not a Buddhist practice. If we look at where the scriptures say to meditate on God's word, we see that there's plenty of talk of mindfulness in the Bible. Just looking at the Psalms, this is one that so many people have memorized. Be still and know that I am God. Right. And what the psalmist is inviting us to there is to just become a little bit more quiet and to feel and notice the presence of God. That is such a beautiful biblical truth. So when we look at mindfulness as just getting quiet, getting still, not being active, then we're actually distilling it down to something it is not. And trauma healing, as we have talked about so many times on this podcast, is really going to start by getting into and connected back up with our bodies, connecting to our sensations, maybe our breath, and not just noticing our thoughts or knowing that we even have thoughts. A lot of times we think that we are our thoughts, right? So we think I'm thinking this, therefore I must be this. And that's not actually true. It's not actually a true statement at all. And we can really move away from that untruth by learning to engage in mindfulness practice. Because trauma disconnects us from our bodies, mindfulness can help us come home to them. And mindful awareness really just helps our brain get out of that fight, flight, freeze mode that it kind of lives in when we have experienced trauma. And it helps us like really regulate our emotions. So if you're feeling all kinds of upside down, slowing down in a mindful way, being present in the moment can actually really help. One of my favorite mindfulness skills that I often teach a client is called the tip skill. And this is also a distress tolerance skill, which means that it helps you deal with all the big feels. So when it's all hit in the fan and you're like, I'm not good, this is actually a mindfulness practice that can help your body physiologically regulate. And the tip skill, and I will also leave a link to an example of that in the show notes and in the description. The tip skill is really about tipping our body chemistry. So we start with tea, tipping our temperature. And the way that we do that is we basically stick our face in a bowl of cold water or do something else. Now, my makeup does not support me sticking my face in a bowl of cold water because my mascara will get everywhere. So what I would do is put a cold compress on my face between my forehead and my nose and let my body start to regulate that way. The ion tip is intense exercise. And this is where we move our body. Now, intense is going to be individual to the person. I am not a CrossFit tire flipping kind of girl. And so if that is your vibe, then that might be your intensity, but I would quite frankly die and fall into the tire, and that would be the end of me. But for me, it might look like jumping jacks or a quick walk or something very different. So you're going to know what intense exercise looks like for your body. And then the P, there's kind of two P's, even though the tip skill is spelled with one P. One is paced breathing. And so that's that single, single double rhythm that I talk about. So you breathe in for a count of let's say five, you hold your breath for five, and you exhale for a count of 10. Now you might do that and say, that's a lot of breathing, ma'am. I don't know what to do with that. Those numbers can be anything that you want. But you want to do it for at least a good couple of minutes and counting your breaths to the best of your ability to help your body start to physiologically calm down. And the other P is paired muscle relaxation. And this is where you tense and release different muscle groups throughout the body and to help them start to get into a more calm state. Now, like I said, I have an example of this, and there are links to various resources that you can use with that. And I definitely read through the paired muscle relaxation in a particular file, which will be linked all in the description below. So if you have ever wanted to know how to do this, you're going to have that opportunity. Mindful attention really getting us into the present moment is something that God designed. This is something that He knows works for our body. Now, exactly which of the skills work for you is going to be up to you because you are unique. So I'm never going to tell a client, just go breathe and always do this because it's not always going to work. You need a whole arsenal of tools. We call it building your toolkit in therapy. And so you want to build your toolkit out so that you have an arsenal of tools that you can use when you are feeling all kinds of upside down. The other thing about mindfulness practice that is really important is to practice. It's not called mindfulness perfection. That'd be a whole different thing. And so you want to learn to practice this. But mindfulness isn't self-centered, but it is self-aware. It really also frees you up to experience the presence of God. And that is such an important thing. So how do you get started? Well, you start like anything else, small, right? We're gonna take one bite at a time until this becomes a practice. So one of the things that you might start off doing is just noticing a glimmer. So something good in your life or environment. You might look around and say, man, this sunrise is incredible right now. And you just give yourself a moment to notice it. What do you smell? What do you see? How cool or warm is the air? Things like that. Those are all really good ways to go, oh, this isn't something I notice, and to slow down your thoughts just a little bit. You can also use any of your five senses so you can look for things you can see and name them out loud. I always encourage folks to take a breath between each one because it helps you slow down a bit more. And then you can look for things that you can touch or smell or taste, all of these things, and just taking the moment to notice them is really important. And again, you want to do something that feels safe enough to your body. So it could be walking, coloring, noticing. If you are doing breath work and your eyes being closed does not work for you, don't close your eyes. You're absolutely allowed to keep your eyes open. It does not get you in trouble. There's not a failing grade. Just because Sally or Bob or Harry does it differently doesn't mean you do. You're gonna do this in the way that works best for you. And you don't have to be perfect. This is something that you really want to get in the rhythm of practicing when you are not upset, when you are not dysregulated. You might be thinking, well, why? Well, think about it this way: if you need to run a marathon and you go out and try to run 26.2 miles right now, you're gonna drop dead if you have not trained at all. At least I would. Maybe you're in your 20s and you can still sleep upside down on a tree root and have no problem, but I am not in my 20s and I would not be okay if I'm being real honest. So I'm gonna have to build my body and my muscles up to it. So I'm not gonna start training on marathon day. I'm gonna start training when I'm not in a marathon. And I'm gonna get my body and mind and emotions and all the things that you have to have to run a marathon. I'm gonna expand them, right? Think about it like lifting weights. Like I'm also not gonna lift a 300-pound barbell today. I would literally get smush. So when you practice, you're building those muscles. You're building your mindful muscles, if you will. And that's really important. And you're also learning to connect with yourself. So when it's difficult, you get curious and you're like, wow, that was really tough today. What was going on for me? Maybe it's a day where you have a little more worry or there's a little more on your plate for work. And so you can have a curious stance toward yourself rather than in the moment when things are very stressful and you're trying to calm your physiology down a bit, and you're like, I have no muscle memory for this. The single, single double breathing is one of my favorite things to talk about from my own perspective. Because I do it so often with clients, I can literally start giving the instructions on how to do it and start to feel my own body relax because my body knows I will be taking these breaths and I am so used to doing it that my body is already ready to relax. Even talking about it right now, I can feel things that were tense in my body getting less tense. And that's because I have that muscle memory because I have practiced it so often working with clients day in and day out. Now I have that luxury as a therapist, and unless you're a therapist too, or some sort of counselor or people helper, maybe you don't do it as often as I do. But that's okay. Set a timer on a phone, set a reminder on your calendar, and give yourself a few minutes of this a day. There is research out there that says if you practice mindfulness for 10 minutes a day over an eight-week period, you actually change the structure of your brain for better. It reduces anxiety, it reduces depression, and all because you just practiced getting present. Now I know this is a bit of a shorter episode of Hey Tabby, but I also want to give you a little heads up on something that is coming that might be interesting to you. A long time ago, I wrote a course that has been out there for a while and that people really love on mindful connection. And it's eight different lessons that teaches you how to do what I am talking about. And I am about to remaster it. So if you want to get on the list to get the remastered version, then I am going to leave a link in our notes today and you can get on the list for it. And I will let you know when it's ready. It is a really powerful and wonderful tool. I'm gonna bring in even more information. And if you've already gotten this particular course, then I want you to know you'll get the updates as well. So if you're interested in getting the retooled mindful connection module, that's a lot of M's. But if you're interested in that, then you definitely do not want to miss out. Fill out that form, get on the interest list, and I will let you know when it's ready. It is a powerful, powerful way to start changing your brain to help you become more present and more peaceful. Thank you again for being here with me this week on Hey Tabby. I look forward to seeing you again here next week.

SPEAKER_00: 14:13

Thanks for joining me for today's episode of Hey Tabby. If you're looking for a resource that I mentioned in the show and you want to check out the show notes, head on over to tabithawestbrook.com forward slash hey tabby. That's H E Y T A C I, and you can grab it there. Look forward to seeing you next time.