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Breathing Through Chaos: Finding Peace in Hard Times

• Tabitha

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Tabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times.

  • The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present moment
  • Creating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience rest
  • Visualizing a light waterfall washing over our body can help release tension and create a protective shield against stress
  • Using mantras like "It's okay to have big emotions" helps normalize our feelings without judgment
  • Breath prayers combine scripture with mindful breathing to center both mind and spirit
  • A systematic body scan helps identify areas of tension without judgment
  • These exercises are invitational—choose what works for you and practice at your own pace
  • "Intentional unproductivity" through brief rest periods actually makes us more productive

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Speaker 1:

Have you ever had an incredibly hard week or hard day and thought I just need a minute to breathe? I just need a minute to figure things out, to just step away from the day? Well, on this week's episode of hey Tabby, that is exactly what we are going to do. Welcome to hey Tabby, the podcast where we talk about the hard things out loud, with our actual lips. We'll cover all kinds of topics across the mental health spectrum, including how it intersects with the Christian faith. Nothing is off limits here and we are not. Take two verses and call me in the morning. I'm Tabitha Westbrook and I'm a licensed trauma therapist, but I'm not your trauma therapist. I'm an expert in domestic abuse and coercive control and how complex trauma impacts our health and well-being. Our focus here is knowledge and healing. Trauma doesn't have to eat your lunch forever. There is hope. Now let's get going. Welcome to this week's episode of hey Tabby. I am your host, tabitha Westbrook, and I am going to slow us down this week a little bit.

Speaker 1:

The week that I'm recording this has been a really hard week for many people. The news has been quite newsy. I know a lot of people are feeling like this particular year is just incredibly hard, and it is For a lot of people. This is a really hard year. It's been incredibly difficult. So today, what I'm going to invite you to do is to take a few minutes with me and just do some grounding exercises. What a grounding exercise is is an exercise that helps you slow down your physiology, it helps you sit with big emotions when you need to, and it gives you just a few minutes of respite in a day that might have a lot of really difficult things and really hard moments. This is something that I do in the Call to Peace Ministries faith-based advocacy group often, and we do lots of grounding breaks because the material is so heavy and hard. And we do lots of grounding breaks because the material is so heavy and hard, and today I wanted to share those kinds of things with our hey Tabby audience. I'm going to lead you through a few of the ones that I often use with folks and hopefully you will practice them with me as we do them.

Speaker 1:

So this podcast is going to be a little bit different than most of them. Instead of giving you a ton of information, we're actually going to do some experiences. So, if you like to listen to hey Tabby, while you drive. Thank you for that. First of all, and secondly, I would invite you to do the ones you can do safely in a vehicle, and I would invite you to come back to this and do some of them in a safe place where you're not operating a motor vehicle, or maybe when you're not at work, depending on when you tend to listen. So some of these might be super familiar as well and you've probably done them before and you're going to say, yeah, why are we doing these again? But believe me, even if you've done them before and you know them well, this is just another opportunity to give yourself time. Give yourself time to get back into your body and to feel a little bit. So the first one that we are going to do is called 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And, for those of you who know it, you are already aware, but we're going to engage all five of our senses and I'm going to tell you how. So I want you to get, if you're okay with this, in a comfortable position Now. You'll notice also that I always invite you. You don't have to do this If you're like nope, that one doesn't work for me, I don't like this one, don't do it. So I'm going to invite you to get into a comfortable position, wherever you're at If you are kind of pretzeled up or have body parts crossed, if you're able to uncross them and I want you to take a moment and notice something you can see.

Speaker 1:

It can be anything in your field of vision. Once you notice it, I'd like you to say it out loud and now take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. I'd like you to notice another thing that you can see. It can be the same thing, a different thing doesn't matter. I want you to say it out loud and then take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now we're going to notice a third thing that we can see. Just say it out loud. Take a big deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, your nose and out through your mouth. Now we're going to take a fourth thing that you can see. I want you to say it out loud and then take a big deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Speaker 1:

Now we're going to do this one more time. Name a fifth thing that you can see. Say it out loud, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now we're going to turn to the sense of touch. I want you to find something that you can touch. So if you're driving your car, hopefully it's your steering wheel, that would be one thing. It can be your pant leg, it can be a stuffed animal, your pet, anything that's around you that you can touch. So I want you to find one thing to touch. I want you to touch it. You should name out loud what you're touching, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. I want you to find another thing to touch, and it can be the same or different, it's okay. I want you to let yourself touch it. Name what you are touching and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. We're going to find a third thing that we can touch. We're going to name what we are touching and you're going to take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. And now we're going to find a fourth thing we can touch. I'm going to name it out loud. We're going to take a big, deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Speaker 1:

So now we're going to transition to sound. So I want you to notice one thing that you can hear. Name what you are hearing and take a big deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. I want you to find a second thing you can hear. Name what you are hearing, take a big deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now we're going to take one more thing we can hear. Notice what we're hearing, name what we're hearing and take a big deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Speaker 1:

Now we're going to notice smell. Now, if you can't smell anything around you, I'd like you to think of something that you like the smell of. So either smell what's around you or notice the smell of something that you love. So maybe it's cinnamon rolls or baking cookies or the smell of a fresh green meadow that's just been cut. I want you to notice that smell or the idea of the smell. Name that, then breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. We're going to do that one more time Either notice a smell or think of a smell, name it and take a big deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. But finally, we're going to think of one thing that we can taste right now. So if you have a beverage with you or a snack, you can use that or one thing that you like the right now. So if you have a beverage with you or a snack, you can use that, or one thing that you like the taste of. I want you to bring that to mind. I want you to name it, imagine that taste, or notice that taste. If you're tasting something, and take a big, deep breath in your nose and out your mouth In your nose and out your mouth.

Speaker 1:

Now I want you to take a moment to just notice your body. If you had any tension in your body when we started, is it still there? If it is, has it changed? And if it's not, where was it? And notice that it's not there now. So just give you a moment to notice and while you're noticing, just take normal, gentle, deep breaths in and out. And for this next exercise, we are going to imagine a place. Now you can do this with your eyes open or closed, whatever is comfortable to you. If you're driving, please don't let them be closed. That would be uncomfortable to others and probably you as well. But if you're able to close your eyes and you want to do that, you're welcome to. If not, you can certainly keep your eyes open.

Speaker 1:

I want you to bring to mind a peaceful place. It can be a real place or an imaginary place. I want it to be a place that doesn't have any activation for you other than pleasant feelings. So if you have a place that comes to mind and it brings up some negative emotion or some hard feelings, then maybe pick a different place. I want you to bring this place to mind and even again, if it's a made-up place, it could be Narnia or deep space or anywhere. It could be a fictional land in a book, or it can be a very real place that you've been, or a real place you would like to go but have never been, and I want you to bring it to mind as clear as you can.

Speaker 1:

Now, for those who don't see pictures in their mind, you can use descriptions so you can describe this place for yourself, if you're not a picture in the mind kind of person. So once you have that fully in mind, I want you to notice that you're by yourself there. We're not going to invite any people or pets into this, because we want this for now to just be your place, a peaceful place where, when you just need a moment alone, a peaceful place, where, when you just need a moment alone, you can kind of go in your mind and I want you to really bring as many details to your mind as you can. What colors do you see? What sounds do you hear? What smells might you notice? What textures are around you that you might feel? And take the moment to just really notice these things Really.

Speaker 1:

Bring it to your mind's eye, either through visualization or description, and just notice what you can about this place of yours. Notice if your body is still or in motion. Are you standing, are you sitting, are you swimming, are you floating? Notice as much as you can. Is it light, is it dark, is it warm, is it it cool, is it just right, is it humid or less humid? Notice everything that you can notice how your body feels in this peaceful place.

Speaker 1:

Give it the opportunity to really feel real in your mind, as if you are there, and take a look around your peaceful place and either visualize or describe what you notice there. Invite any areas of tension to just step away, to drain out of your body and allow you to be in this peaceful place. We all have responsibilities and things that we have to take care of, but for just a moment, it is good for our bodies to be able to just take a little mini vacation. Allow your body to be in this place as much as you can Notice if there are any sounds, textures, anything that you just want to focus on just an extra moment here, textures, anything that you just want to focus on just an extra moment here. Allow yourself to feel this rest. You are allowed to have moments of rest. In fact, moments of rest actually make us more productive. So think of this as intentional unproductivity. Really let this place come to mind, bring it forward in your mind as much as possible. Try to feel it in the very cells of your body and allow your body to have a little bit of peace. Peace and when you're ready, just come back together from your peaceful place and you can give it a name if it helps you remember that this is a place I want to go and anytime you feel overwhelmed or stressed, you can take a few moments and let yourself go to this peaceful place as we come back together. If you feel a little bit of energy and you need to give yourself a little wiggle, you're welcome to do that as well. So what was that like for you? What was it like for you to notice your peaceful place? What was it like to spend a few moments giving yourself some intentional rest? You might notice, as we come back together here, some big emotions, because maybe you don't let yourself do that very often. Maybe even it felt like you were breaking a rule and all that is fine, it's okay, normal, actually.

Speaker 1:

Now for our next exercise, we are going to imagine light. So again I invite you to get into a comfortable spot. Your eyes can be open or closed. Again, if you're driving, please keep them open. Maybe this is a better one for at home if you like them closed.

Speaker 1:

But I want you to imagine that a bright light has begun to form above your head. The light can be any color you want, whatever is peaceful and comforting to you. I want you to imagine that the bright light is sort of like a light waterfall. It's cascading down over you Like water. It starts at the top of your head and drips its way down over your whole body. Notice what temperature you might feel with this light. Is it warm, is it cool? Notice what temperature you might feel with this light. Is it warm, is it cool? Notice what other properties it might have Maybe it has a sound or a scent or a texture and just notice that.

Speaker 1:

And again, for those who do not see pictures in their mind, you can describe this for yourself. And as you stand in that waterfall of light, just allow yourself to feel any areas of tension just draining out of your body. It can drain out in any direction. Whatever works best for you. Give yourself a few moments to just really notice what that light is like for you. And standing in that peaceful light, and continue to notice whether it has sound or texture or a temperature. You can also imagine it's a little bit like a force field or shield. It's keeping stress away from you. Just for a few minutes and just notice that. No stress, no tension can live in this light at all. And as you let yourself notice that, lean into it a little bit, really open your mind and let your body just experience the light in whatever way works for you. When you're ready, let's come back together. Just give yourself a big, deep breath, just notice. Does your body feel any different? Is it less tense than it was? Did any emotions come up? And again, it's okay that as you're doing some of these grounding exercises, you might have emotions because they might say, hey, we have an opportunity to say hello, and sometimes they do, and that's okay. You're not doing it wrong and you're not broken. So give yourself just a moment to come back together if you need to give yourself a little wiggle, and if you're driving, please be very careful.

Speaker 1:

I want to make sure everybody stays safe here. I hope you're enjoying this episode of hey Tabby and we will be right back to it in just a minute. You know, here on hey Tabby we talk a lot about the hard stuff trauma, abuse and the toll that it takes on your mind, body and spirit and we want you to know you don't have to walk that alone. You don't have to walk that alone. The journey in the process is a trauma-specialized counseling center committed to helping individuals heal from deep wounds through clinically excellent biblically-grounded care, with offices in North Carolina and Texas, telehealth services across five states and biblical counseling available globally. Our team of highly trained Christian therapists and certified biblical counselors integrate faith and whole person evidence-based practices to address trauma at its root. We believe that healing is possible because Jesus still sets the captives free. If you're ready to take that next step toward peace, visit wwwthejourneyandtheprocesscom. Trauma doesn't have to eat your lunch forever. There is hope and we are here to help you find it. Now let's get back to this week's episode.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to give you what's called a mantra and a mantra is really just a fancy word, so that we don't have to say as many words about what this is. So a mantra is basically just a statement that helps remind you of something. So you can call it an affirmation, a mantra, a reminder. It doesn't really matter. But I was trying to distill it down to one word because lots of words are hard to remember sometimes, especially when we're stressed out. So this mantra that we're going to do is we're just going to think about the phrase. That's it, just think about it. So I'm going to say it and you can say it to yourself, either inside your head or out loud with your lips, whatever works.

Speaker 1:

But the mantra is it is okay to have big emotions, it is okay to feel. So you might be saying well, my emotions aren't always very big and that's okay, but it is okay to feel. So you can say it's okay to have big emotions. Or you can say it's okay to feel. You decide which one fits for you and you might like none of them and want to make something up yourself, and I say do it. So, again, I want you to think about is okay to have big emotions or it is okay to feel and just notice that, notice what happens in your body. This might feel restful or it might feel a little uncomfortable. If you're still struggling with learning to feel, that's okay. Remember you don't have to do every single one of these. You pick the ones that work for you. Again, we're just going to remember it's okay to have big feels or it's okay to feel. You can say this over and over as many times as you need to, especially if it's a distressing sort of day.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes we beat ourselves up when we have feelings and so I want to invite you to not. It is okay to feel. You don't have to apologize, right? The whole point of emotion regulation is to know what to do with the feelings that we have, so we handle them in adaptive and healthy ways. It's okay to feel them. And I wanted to give you that reminder because maybe this week there are a lot of feels for you, maybe you're feeling like, well, I shouldn't feel, fill in the blank, and I will remind you. Don't shit on yourself, right, it doesn't help. And we are made to have feelings. It's part of being made in the image and likeness of God is to feel. Likeness of God is to feel.

Speaker 1:

Now our final exercise is going to be a breath prayer and it's just a very simple breath prayer. So the verse that we're going to use and you can pick any verse. So if you're like I hate this verse, pick a different one. All right, I'm just going to give you the example. We'll do it here together, again, invitational, you don't have to do it, but then you can pick something else and use that. I will commend to you the book Breath as Prayer, which I will link in the show notes as well. But we are going to use this verse.

Speaker 1:

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is fixed on you because he trusts in you. You can say she, me, I fixed on you because he trusts in you. You can say she, me, I make it personal. So I'm going to make it personal and use the word me. You can use whatever you need to use for you. So you keep me in perfect peace. And when we say that, we're going to breathe in through our nose because my mind is fixed on you and I trust in you, and we're going to breathe out on them because my mind is fixed on you and I trust in you and we're going to breathe out on them. So breathe in you, keep me in perfect peace, because my mind is fixed on you and I trust in you. Okay, it's hard to do and to also talk while I'm doing this, so I'm going to invite you to breathe in you, keep me in perfect peace, and breathe out because I put my to invite you to breathe in you, keep me in perfect peace and breathe out because I put my hope in you and trust in you. Breathe in you, keep me in perfect peace, breathe out because my mind is fixed on you and I trust in you. One more time Breathe in you, keep me in perfect peace, breathe out because I trust you and my mind is fixed on you. And yes, I know I switched up words now and again. That was purposeful, it was a little bit of an intentionality. I wanted to do that because you don't have to be perfect. Right.

Speaker 1:

The breath is prayer is prayer is just a prayer. We're basing it in scripture because we know that has power, we know it's helpful. It's often very comforting for people, and so it doesn't matter what order you put it in. You really can't get this wrong. So if there is a scripture that you really like, then you can use that. You can also add some things. So, for example, jesus wept that's the whole scripture, the entire one right there.

Speaker 1:

But one of the things I add to it in a breath prayer is and he weeps for me, because it says that he cries with us and he holds our tears in a bottle. Not in that same passage, it's in a different passage. So you can combine passages. If you've never done that, I invite you to do that as well. But we'll breathe in on Jesus wept and we'll breathe out and he weeps for me. Or you can even say he weeps with me. So maybe I'll do a little bit of each. Just have to listen. So we're going to breathe in through our nose Jesus wept, breathe out through our mouth and he weeps with me. Breathe in Jesus wept. Breathe out and he weeps for me Breathe in. Jesus wept and breathe out, and he weeps for me.

Speaker 1:

All right, now, if there's another scripture that you love, you can set it to a breath prayer. You get to make them up. It's amazing. You don't have to necessarily use scriptures. You can use thoughts or things that you want to say to God, like I know you're here with me. Lord, help me to remember that you're here with me. Lord, help me to remember that you're here with me, lord, right, because sometimes we completely forget. So do what works for you in that and don't get super rigid.

Speaker 1:

The goal is to just take a little bit of space and remind ourselves of truth, while not breathing like we have been running a race. It helps us slow down our physiology. It helps us slow down our physiology. It helps us rest. It helps our bodies relax. So check in with your body now.

Speaker 1:

This is called a body scan, and we're going to start at the top of our head, or you can start at the bottom of your feet whatever works for you and work your way either up or down. So if you're starting at the top of your head, you're going to work your way down, and if you start at the bottom of head, you're going to work your way down, and if you start at the bottom of your feet, you're going to work your way up and just notice, notice if there are any areas of rest or any areas of tension, and we're not going to judge either one of them, we're just going to notice without judgment. If you find a tense area, you just notice. Oh, that area is tense. You may invite it to relax a bit if you so choose. So just keep noticing your body and scanning each part. So it's sometimes very helpful to go systematically.

Speaker 1:

So if you start at the top of your head, then just notice the top of your head and then notice your forehead and then notice the top of your head. Then just notice the top of your head and then notice your forehead, and then notice the back of your head and notice the right side of your head and then the left side of your head. Now notice your face. Notice under your chin. Notice the back of your neck. Notice your right shoulder and your left shoulder. Notice your back. Notice your chest. Notice the bottom part of your back, your torso. Notice your back, your torso. Notice your stomach.

Speaker 1:

Notice from your elbow down to your fingertips on the left side. Notice your elbow down to your fingertips on the right side. Notice the back of your arm on the right side and the back of your arm on the left side. Notice your right side, from your armpit to your waist. Notice your left side, from your armpit to your waist. Notice your butt. Notice the tops of your butt.

Speaker 1:

Notice the tops of your legs. Notice the top of your right leg. Notice the top of your left leg. Notice the outside of your right leg. Notice the outside of your left leg. Notice the inside of your right leg. Notice the inside of your left leg. Notice the inside of your right leg. Notice the inside of your left leg. Notice your knees. Notice your right knee. Notice your left knee. Notice the back of your right knee. Notice the back of your left knee. Notice the bottoms of your legs. So notice the back of your left knee. Notice the bottoms of your legs. So notice the top of your right leg, from the knee to your ankle. Notice the top of your left leg, from your knee to your ankle. Notice the back of your right leg, from your knee to your ankle. Notice the back of your left leg, from your knee to your ankle.

Speaker 1:

Now let's notice our feet. Notice the top of your right foot all the way from your ankle to your toes. Notice the top of your left foot all the way from your ankle to your toes. Notice the back of your right foot from your ankle to your toes and the bottom of your foot. Notice your left foot from your ankles to your toes and the bottom of your foot, and just notice as you worked your way through any of these areas. If you noticed tension or rest. If there was an area of tension, just be curious about it and invite yourself to that curiosity, without judging it at all. I'm going to invite you back to your breath and we're going to end with one thing that you can see. Have you say it out loud Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Speaker 1:

I want to thank you for joining me on this week's episode of hey Tabby. If you found that any of these grounding exercises felt way less than grounding and you had a little bit of a hard time with some of them, that's okay. Practice makes proficient. We're not here for perfection at all. So practice makes proficient. Keep at it. If it's something that brings you a lot of distress, it might not be for you right now, and that's okay too. There's no right or wrong. You cannot pass or fail, because this is not a graded test. Wrong, you cannot pass or fail because this is not a graded test. But hopefully these few minutes together practicing some of these grounding exercises, was helpful for you and gave you just a little bit of respite. Perhaps this season is difficult for you, and hopefully we can find a little bit of rest, at least in little pockets, so that we can keep going.

Speaker 1:

As always, any resource that I talk about will be listed in the show notes. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm so glad that you listen to hey Tabby. If you find this podcast helpful, please tell a friend and send them the link so that they can listen to it, and also please be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcasts, because it really does help people find it. Thanks again for listening to hey Tabby and I'll see you again next time. Thanks for joining me for today's episode of hey Tabby. If you're looking for a resource that I mentioned in the show and you want to check out the show notes, head on over to tabithawestbrookcom. Forward slash heytabi. That's H-E-Y-T-A-B-I and you can grab it there. I look forward to seeing you next time.

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