Hey Tabi!

The King's Crime: Uncovering the Rape of Bathsheba

Tabitha Season 2 Episode 1

Did King David commit adultery—or was it something much darker? In this deeply important episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook examines the true story of David and Bathsheba. Spoiler: It’s not the sanitized ‘affair’ we’ve often been told. It’s a story of power, coercion, and sexual violence—rape by a man in power.

Join us as we read 2 Samuel 11 in its entirety, challenge cultural and spiritual myths that have silenced victims for centuries, and explore how this ancient abuse of power still echoes in today’s world—especially in the church. We’ll talk about the real meaning of consent, the trauma of sexual violence, and why it matters to name these truths clearly.

We also dig into:
 ✅ Why Bathsheba’s “consent” wasn’t possible
 ✅ How spiritual bypassing can harm survivors today
 ✅ The difference between sin and an abuse of power
 ✅ The consequences David faced—and what it teaches us about accountability
 ✅ And how God’s mercy and justice show up even in these heartbreaking stories

If you’ve ever felt silenced, or if you’ve wondered how to read these hard biblical passages with both faith and trauma-informed compassion, this episode is for you. Because naming the truth is the first step toward real healing.

👉 Resources mentioned in this episode:
📚 Desiring God Article by John Piper on this scripture - https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/did-bathsheba-sin-with-david

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Speaker 1:

Did King David commit adultery or was it something much darker? In this episode, we're going to talk about the hidden truth, about how power, coercion and sexual violence intersect in the biblical story of David and Bathsheba. Let's unpack this ancient abuse of power and how it echoes into this present day. No more covering it up and no more sanitizing it. Let's get going. Welcome to hey Tabby, the podcast where we talk about the hard things out loud, with our actual lips. We'll cover all kinds of topics across the mental health spectrum, including how it intersects with the Christian faith. Nothing is off limits here, and we are not. Take two verses and call me in the morning. I'm Tabitha Westbrook and I'm a licensed trauma therapist. But I'm not your trauma therapist. I'm an expert in domestic abuse and coercive control and how complex trauma impacts our health and well-being. Our focus here is knowledge and healing. Trauma doesn't have to eat your lunch forever. There is hope Now let's get going. So welcome to this week's episode of hey Tabby. This episode might be a little bit hard to hear, but it's really deeply important because the story isn't just about an affair or adultery or a moment of moral failure. It's about power, coercion and sexual violence, and the Bible doesn't shy away from it, and I don't think we should either. The way that I'm going to start this is I'm going to actually read the entire passage for itself, all of it, and it's going to be a little bit of a long reading. I'm going to do this in the English Standard Version because I think that it presents it the most clear, but you are more than welcome to read it in any version that you want. So if you want to hit pause or skip ahead to when I'm done reading it, you're welcome to do that as well. But I want to really read it carefully because I think when we're talking about a passage of scripture that often gets misquoted, misstated, all those kinds of things, we really want to be sure that we read it in its entirety as we talk about it. So that is what we're going to do. So I'm going to start off. This is 2 Samuel, chapter 11, and we're going to read the entire chapter. So the heading of this chapter in the ESV is David and Bathsheba. So we'll just start with that, and now we'll start in verse 1.

Speaker 1:

In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, david sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel and they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. It happened late one afternoon and some translations say it happened late at night, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king's house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing and the woman was very beautiful and David sent and inquired about the woman and one said Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? So David sent messengers and took her and she came to him and he lay with her. Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness. Then she returned to her house and the woman conceived and she sent and told David I am pregnant. So David sent word to Joab Send me Uriah the Hittite. And Joab sent Uriah to David.

Speaker 1:

When Uriah came to him, david asked how Joab was doing and how the people were doing and how the war was going. Then David said to Uriah Go down to your house and wash your feet. And Uriah went out of the king's house and there followed him a present from the king. But Uriah slept at the door of the king's house with all the servants of his lord and did not go down to his house. So when he says that he slept at the door, it means he slept on the porch. By the way, when they told David, uriah did not go down to his house. David said to Uriah have you not come from a journey? Why did you not go down to your house? Uriah said to David the ark and Israel and Judah dwell in booths and my lord, joab and the servants of my lord are camping in the open field. Shall I then go to my house to eat and to drink and to lie with my wife, as you live and as your soul lives? I will not do this thing. Then David said to Uriah Remain here today also and tomorrow, and I will send you back.

Speaker 1:

So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next and David invited him and he ate in his presence and drank so that he made him drunk. And in the evening he went out to lie on his couch with the servants of his Lord, but he did not go down to his house. In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it by the hand of Uriah. In the letter he wrote Set Uriah in the forefront of the hardest fighting and then draw back from him that he may be struck down and die. And as Joab was besieging the city, he assigned Uriah to the place where he knew there were valiant men. And the men of the city came out and fought with Joab and some of the servants of David. Among the people fell Uriah the Hittite also died.

Speaker 1:

Then Joab sent and told David all the news about the fighting and he instructed the messenger when you have finished telling all the news about the fighting to the king, then if the king's anger arises and if he says to you why did you go so near the city to fight? Did you not know that they would shoot from the wall? Who killed Abimelech, the son of Jerubisheth? That is a heck of a name. Did not a woman cast an upper millstone on him from the wall so that he died at Thebes? Why did you go so near the wall? Then he shall say your servant, uriah the Hittite, is dead also.

Speaker 1:

So the messenger went and came and told David all that Joab had sent him to tell. Then the messenger said to David the men gained an advantage over us and came out against us in the field, but we drove them back to the entrance of the gate. Then the archers shot at your servants from the wall. Some of the king's servants are dead and your servant, uriah the Hittite, is dead also. David said to the messenger Thus shall you say to Joab Do not let this matter displease you, for the sword devours now one and now another. Strengthen your attack against the city and overthrow it and encourage him. When the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah, her husband, was dead, she lamented over her husband and when the morning was over, david sent and brought her to his house and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.

Speaker 1:

So I know that is a great big chunk of scripture and that is a lot to read, sometimes all in one sitting here in this podcast but really wanted us to have the full context of this because I want us to think about what is really happening in this passage. Over and over, I have heard growing up that David committed adultery with Bathsheba, but that is not at all what happened here, and that's why reading the scripture itself is really important, so that we can actually break it down together. First and foremost, I want you to know that David is out of balance and where he's not supposed to be. The very beginning of this passage says that kings go out to battle in the spring of the year, and David is not out at battle. David is hanging out at home. David sent his people out to battle and he did not go with them, and so David shouldn't have even been home and he should not have even had the opportunity to see Bathsheba, let alone anything else for that matter, because he was supposed to be out doing something different altogether.

Speaker 1:

Also, he asks hey, who is this woman? So one of the criticisms that I hear a lot is well, she was asking for it, she was tantalizing the king because she was on her roof taking a bath naked. Who takes a bath naked on the roof? And, honestly, that is a 21st century American way of thinking. To be honest, in that part of the world at that time, that is where you did your ritual purification, because that's where it was at, and so for her to be on her roof doing the right thing and following the actual rituals of purification after her menstrual period, she was in the right, she was right and good.

Speaker 1:

David was where he was not supposed to be, and I will also say to anyone that says well, this person was asking for it because of what they were wearing. I will just note that that's not true. No matter what happens, even though it would be a very bad idea to walk down the road naked, that doesn't give anybody the right to touch you. No one has the right to touch another human being without consent. And that brings us to whether or not it was consensual. So David asked who is this woman? And someone said this is the wife of Uriah the Hittite. He knew that she was married and he sent for her. Now, look, if the king goes sending for you, you don't go. Well, what is this in relationship to you and how can I help him? And no, excuse me, I'm not going to go do that. She was sent for and she would have had no idea what David wanted from her None whatsoever. She was summoned by the king, her husband's out at battle. I wonder if she thought oh gosh, I'm about to find out. My husband's dead.

Speaker 1:

And one of the most important aspects of this particular passage is so David took her. David didn't ask her, david didn't carouse with her. She didn't ask David, she was not at all asking for this. And David took her Since there was no consent and she had no opportunity to say no. There is one thing, and one thing only that this was and it is rape, and I can't call it anything else because it can't be anything else. The definition of rape is some sort of sexual activity, penetration of your body without your consent. It can either be with another body part or it can be with an object, and in this case it was with, obviously, a body part of David, and she didn't have the opportunity to consent, she couldn't say no. And you know if you're thinking well, goodness, the law says you're supposed to cry out. The king sent for her. And even if she had said no and it's not recorded here, it wouldn't have mattered. This is the king. And so after that she says dude, I'm pregnant. Now look when people are like well, she must have wanted it. She sent for the king.

Speaker 1:

She is a woman whose husband is on the battle lines and everybody knows it. And if she turns up pregnant, something happened. Well, in this case, she knows who the baby daddy is and she's saying help, basically Because to be an immoral woman in Israel. Think about the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and dragged before Jesus. The penalty was supposed to be stoning. This woman would have been killed. Bathsheba would have been killed and assumed to be unfaithful when she was not.

Speaker 1:

There's nothing in this passage that says she was part of the equation at all. All of it lays on David. And to make matters worse, david says, oh man, well, we can't have that. So he tries to cover up his crime by bringing Uriah home, hoping that he'll want to sleep with his wife. But Uriah is clearly an honorable man. Not only does he sleep on the porch, but then he sleeps on a couch, even after he's gotten drunk. So at no point in time does he say I should go do this. And he even says I can't go do this, my people are out there in battle, I can't, I can't do this thing. And so, because Uriah is so honorable, david signs his death warrant and sends it back in his own hand Like big yikes, big yikes. And that is something that we can't ignore. So not only did David do this thing and he took Bathsheba against her will, but then he has her husband murdered and sends the death warrant by his own hand. That is exceptionally wicked, my goodness, how terrifying. And Uriah is such an honorable guy, he doesn't even read it, he takes it back and he ends up getting killed.

Speaker 1:

So then that leads us to what happens next, and that is in chapter 12. And I won't read the whole chapter, but I would encourage you to. It's fantastic. And if we notice, at the very end of chapter 11, it says the thing that David did displeased the Lord. Not the thing David and Bathsheba did, not the thing that Bathsheba did, but this thing that David did displeased the Lord. So then Nathan comes in to rebuke David, and that's actually the heading of chapter 12.

Speaker 1:

So if we start around verse one, the Lord sent Nathan to David, and so then Nathan tells David this parable that there was a very rich man who had all kinds of stuff, everything in the whole world. He had All kinds of flocks and herds locked for nothing. But somebody came over and said hey, I'm here. And the rich man goes oh my gosh, I'm going to go give him some food and I'm going to go take it from my neighbor. And so they go over to the neighbor's house and he says give me your lamb. But this lamb is this person's pride and joy. Like they treat it like a kid, it's like a pet and this rich person still takes it and kills it. And David, upon hearing this story, is like furious. He's like oh my goodness, this is terrible, this man deserves to die, he needs to restore the lamb lamb. And Nathan looks David dead on and says you are the man. And David immediately repents.

Speaker 1:

But one of the things that Nathan says to David in this, before we get to David's repentance, is really interesting. Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel I anointed you king over Israel and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul and I gave you your master's house and your master's. And this is where David. You've struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and you have taken his wife to be your wife and you've killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. And this is where David gets a curse. There is a consequence to this the sword will never depart from your house and I'll raise up evil against you out of your own house and take your wives before your own eyes and give them to someone else, and your neighbor will lie with them in plain sight, in the view of the sun. And the Lord says this, for you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel and before the sun.

Speaker 1:

Now here's where David does repent. He says I have sinned against the Lord, and I do believe that David's heart is broken here. I think he was probably already wrestling. There's some evidence in the Psalms of that, where he talks about being in the puddle of his own tears on his couch, basically, and it's believed that that was written as he was wrestling through the fact that he had done this thing and was holding that weight of it. And there is every evidence that David did in fact truly repent and follow the Lord.

Speaker 1:

But one thing I really want to point out about this is it doesn't relieve consequence. So even though David did repent, god didn't say okay, you're cool. He killed the one child that Bathsheba bore, the first son. And then there's the curse of the sword not leaving David's house and his neighbor lying with all of his wives in front of the son, right under the son. We know that that ends up being Absalom, who takes David's concubines and sleeps with them on the palace roof, which is interestingly tied together. Yes, david saw Bathsheba on the roof and decided to exercise coercion and power and rape her, and then Absalom takes his father's concubines and sleeps with them on the roof of his dad's house, which is wicked in and of itself and also part of the curse that God levies. So, even though David is in the hall of faith and he is a man after God's own heart, that did not spare him the consequences, and I think that that is a really important lesson for us for today.

Speaker 1:

There's a few things here that we really want to just unpack briefly. First of all, if we call it adultery, then there's an assumption that there is a mutuality here, and there is not. We clearly just read that in scripture. There is a Desiring God article that I will link in the show notes as well, where John Piper comes to that same conclusion when asked the question. There is an exercise of power and control here. There was not consent from Bathsheba, and there is one thing to call it in that case, and that's rape. You cannot call it another name because it isn't another name. The other thing is that we see David actually accept those consequences, and I will say that in the modern church today, when we have something like this occur far too often, we see people maybe slightly disciplined and then replatformed and given almost a pass. And I just want to note again that there are consequences and David has to bear those. God doesn't let him off the hook Now. Does he make him not king at that moment? No, but his kingdom is definitely fraught with much more difficulty.

Speaker 1:

And if you're saying, oh well, then with a pastor, then we could certainly put them in the pulpit, I would say that we also need to look at today's context. And no, we don't. As a good friend of mine says, you can serve Jesus at best by you don't have to be in the pulpit to do that, and I think that's important. I think sometimes people are disqualified due to sexual sin, and if we look at the New Testament, the qualifications of elders and leaders is really clear and we know that sexual coercion and rape would not meet the qualifications of elders, and in that case we should have people step down and step away. It doesn't mean that they aren't loved by the Lord and it doesn't mean that they can't serve the Lord in some capacity, but maybe it is not. As pastor, I will say also that when we don't name this particular story correctly, then we are also spiritually bypassing victims of rape today, particularly when it is a person in a position of religious power, like a pastor or an elder, or even their husband, because rape can happen in marriage.

Speaker 1:

Consent doesn't just end at the altar. You need to consent continually, and I think that it's really important that we say this correctly, because otherwise we are minimizing it and we're also shading Bathsheba, which is real unfortunate and very unfair to her. I also want you to see that God does in fact forgive David. He does not take his life, which he should have done right by the law. David's life should have been ended, but God was merciful to David because of his repentance, and I think that's really important to see Again. There are so consequences. And God is also merciful to Bathsheba because she also births Solomon, and we know that Solomon was given incredible wisdom. He got to build the house of the Lord. There was a lot of beautiful goodness in the life of Solomon, and so in a lot of ways, bathsheba received redemption from that.

Speaker 1:

So I think it's really important that when we read the Bible, we ask ourselves where did I hear this? First, let me read it for myself. Let me read it with my own eyeballs. Let me notice that sometimes they put in headers, because a few translations do say David commits adultery with Bathsheba, and I'm like that's not the right heading, not at all, and I think it's important that we call it what it is, because otherwise we are minimizing really deep harm and really deep sin, and that is not something that is helpful for us as the church. If you grew up thinking well I mean she was on the roof naked or whatever and I mean I've straight heard that in sermons Then I would just encourage you really go read it for yourself, read 2 Samuel 11 and 2 Samuel 12 in their entirety, and really go look at some commentaries and see where other people come down and pray through it yourself.

Speaker 1:

A lot of times we hear various teachings in the church and we just accept them and say, well, this must be what it is, instead of looking for ourselves. And one of the things that Paul says to the Bereans is a commendation, because they went and looked to see if these things were so. So they went and searched the scriptures to see if they were so, and we can grow up with traditions that we don't realize aren't actually biblical and ways of thinking through and reading through things that aren't biblical, and so I would encourage you to maybe look at scripture with fresh eyes and really look at it in the big picture and look at it for the whole counsel of the word of God. And I know that on this podcast we have most definitely talked before about having excellent biblical literacy, because it's really hard to control you with scripture when you actually know it for yourself. So I hope that you found this helpful today. I know that it might really be rattling to you if you're like holy Toledo man, we're calling this rape, but that's what it is and by using the correct terminology we actually bring much more depth to this story, much more beauty to the mercy of God for both David and Bathsheba, and we honor all of the parties involved when we call it what it is.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for being here with me today. Anything that I mentioned as a resource will be linked in the show notes. I look forward to seeing you here again on our next episode of hey Tabby. Thanks for joining me for today's episode of hey Tabby. If you're looking for a resource that I mentioned in the show and you want to check out the show notes, head on over to tabithawestbrookcom forward slash hey Tabby. That's H-E-Y-T-A-B-I and you can grab it there. I look forward to seeing you next time.

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