Powerful Affirmations Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Hear

In the beginning was the Word. Jesus spoke everything into existence. We know when we've been traumatized the words spoken over us are curses. Those curses often replay like a horrific record. Today we’re breaking chains and speaking life.

Healing from trauma requires breaking the chains of harmful words spoken over us and replacing them with life-giving truth that restores our sense of dignity, worth, and value.

• Speaking life over ourselves counteracts the curses and negative messages that trauma imprints on us
• God never aligns with abusive structures, systems, or individuals
• Spiritual abuse distorts God's voice and weaponizes faith against victims
• Boundaries are not rebellion—even Jesus established healthy boundaries
• Our identity is not defined by what happened to us or the coping skills we used
• Healing isn't linear but resembles a bowl of spaghetti with ups and downs
• Joy is possible even after trauma
• We can move beyond the labels of "victim" or "survivor" to become an "overcomer"
• Creating personal reminders of truth can help rewire our brains from those distorted thought patterns

I encourage you to write your own life-speaking truths that address your specific situation. Keep them in a notebook or on index cards and review them regularly, especially when negative thoughts are screaming at you. 

If you're willing, share your affirmations in the comments on the YouTube video or head over to my Instagram @tabithathecounselor and share them there!

🎧 Subscribe to Hey Tabi for more expert conversations on trauma, faith, and healing.

Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this...

Chapters

• 0:00 Words as Curses and Life-Givers
• 2:42 Breaking Spiritual Abuse Chains
• 6:24 Reclaiming Your True Identity
• 8:43 Boundaries Are Sacred, Not Rebellion
• 11:31 The Journey to Becoming an Overcomer
• 17:59 Creating Your Own Life-Speaking Practice

Transcript

Tabitha Westbrook: 0:00

In the beginning was the Word. Jesus spoke everything into existence. We know that when we've been traumatized, the words spoken over us are curses. Those curses often replay in our heads like a horrific record. Today we're breaking chain and speaking life.

Tabitha Westbrook: 0:16

Welcome to hey Tabby, the podcast where we talk about the hard things out loud, with our actual lips. We'll cover all kinds of topics across the mental health spectrum, including how it intersects with the Christian faith. Nothing is off limits here and we are not. Take two verses and call me in the morning. I'm Tabitha Westbrook and I'm a licensed trauma therapist, but I'm not your trauma therapist. I'm an expert in domestic abuse and coercive control and how complex trauma impacts our health and well-being. Our focus here is knowledge and healing. Trauma doesn't have to eat your lunch forever. There is hope. Now let's get going. Welcome to this week's episode of hey Tabby. I am so glad that you are here this week. I am really excited about this particular topic. This is something that is near and dear to my heart and hopefully will be helpful to you.

Tabitha Westbrook: 1:07

One of the things that I often hear with survivors is just the words that play over and over and over in their heads, and they're usually not very kind. I know that is also my own story. If you've read Body and Soul, healed and Whole the book that I wrote, you know there is an entire chapter devoted to curses and vows and what those are and how to break them. A lot of times, what is spoken over us is wickedness, and we end up drinking it in because we don't have another choice. We have to do it to survive. But even if we're out of the abusive situation, then we tend to still walk in those ways as if they are true, and so today I want to invite us to do something different. Sometimes it is really powerful when someone speaks life over us. So that is what I'm going to do today for this particular episode. We are just going to speak life, and that is the entire thing that we're going to do.

Tabitha Westbrook: 2:01

I invite you to just get yourself in a comfortable space. If you're driving, don't get too comfortable. I want you to be safe, but maybe this podcast is a little bit better for you to listen to when you're able to get a little more comfortable. If you're in a safe place and not operating machinery, I want to invite you to get comfortable. De-pretzel yourself if you're able to. So if any body parts are crossed, you can uncross them. Your feet can be on the floor or you can be laying down, you can be sitting comfortably whatever works for you. I want you to just be able to soak this in and let this watch over you.

Tabitha Westbrook: 2:42

Sometimes it is helpful to me to do a little bit of a somatic hold when I'm doing things like this or getting prepared for things like this, and one of those holds is a hand over your heart, like kind of in the middle of your chest, and one hand on your belly. Now, if you're listening to this audio, you can't see me, but if you are watching it on our YouTube channel, you can see that I have a hand on my heart. You can't see my belly. I'm not far enough away. Let's give you an opportunity here to take a couple of breaths. We are going to breathe in through our nose and out through our mouth, and I'm going to do it kind of loud so you can hear it. Another one and one more breath now as we go into this practice and into the listening. Just know that this is a peaceful place. If it helps you to imagine a peaceful place, a place of your choosing, it can be anywhere, real or imagined, and that is something that you are more than welcome to as well.

Tabitha Westbrook: 3:59

These are written with both our trauma but also our faith in mind. Some are scriptural, some are just truth, and you can take what you need and leave or rest. These, you'll notice, will go in themes, and we are going to start with spiritual abuse. First of all, god never aligned with an abusive structure, system or person. God is not a God of oppression and he was not okay with what happens to you. Spiritual abuse, whether it is through a system or an individual, is something that distorts the voice of God, and that is definitely not God. Spiritual abuse, as I define it, is taking someone's good and right devotion to God and weaponizing it against them, and we are going to break those curses and vows now.

Tabitha Westbrook: 4:53

God's voice doesn't shame me. In fact, he speaks peace over me. I am allowed to ask questions. God welcomes my doubt, my confusion, just like he did with Job, just like he did with David, just like he did with countless other people in Scripture. Being obedient to God never means being obedient to abuse. We are never asked to bow to tyranny.

Tabitha Westbrook: 5:24

Spiritual leaders are not God. They are human, even really charismatic ones. They're not God. Only God is God and humans. We can be wrong, and if they're wrong I can walk away. I know that some of the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy and peace and gentleness and goodness and kindness. The fruit of the Spirit is not fear or coercion. I belong to a God who sees and he knows and he rescues. Even if I can't see the rescue right now, he's still doing those things. Just like with Easter, sunday is coming. God is a refuge. He's not a trap.

Tabitha Westbrook: 6:12

Oftentimes, abusive individuals speak over us All kinds of things about our identity, and usually none of them are true, and I'm going to speak over some different alternatives for you. I'm not what happened to me. I am a child of a living God. I'm not any mistakes I've made in these processes, not any mistakes I've made or behaviors due to trauma. All those things are forgiven and some of them might even be understandable based on the things I've been through. And God sees things that way. He doesn't see me with displeasure. My voice and thoughts matter to the Lord. He deeply cares. He actually calls me poetry.

Tabitha Westbrook: 7:02

In Ephesians he says we are his workmanship, we are his art piece, even if we don't feel very in the moment. I'm made in the image and likeness of God and absolutely nobody can tell me differently on that. That means that I have dignity, worth and value. It means that I have dignity, worth and value. It means that my opinions, my thoughts, my feelings all matter. I'm worthy of love because God says I'm worthy of love. I don't have to do anything to secure my value or to be lovable, and that would be works.

Tabitha Westbrook: 7:35

And we know that God saves us by grace, not through works. God is near to the brokenhearted and he saves the crushed in spirit. God also desires that we have boundaries. We do not have to just take whatever, and even if we're in ministry, we don't have to pour ourselves out to the last drop. God never asked us to sacrifice ourselves on the altar of ministry. He has never once asked us that. In fact, he created the Sabbath for us. Sabbath is made for man, not man for the Sabbath, and that is because he knows that we need rest, and so our no is a complete sentence.

Tabitha Westbrook: 8:20

I can say no to anything at any time if I need to. My body is mine. My no is sacred. My yes was not at the altar. My yes was not when I volunteered for church. My yes was not when I became a staff member. I don't have to earn safety.

Tabitha Westbrook: 8:41

God calls himself a refuge again, because he knows we need safety. He knows what we're made of. He is my refuge and strength and my help in times of trouble. I look to the hills. Where does my help come from? It comes from you, the maker of heaven and earth, and that's not just true for other people, that is true for you. It might not feel true all the time, especially when things are very, very hard, but it is. Sometimes things don't feel true that are still true. Boundaries are not rebellion. Jesus had boundaries. Jesus went away to rest at times. His disciples at least once asked him like bro, where did you go? He's like I want to rest. He went and had a boundary. Not every disciple went with him everywhere either. He chose who he went with. That means that we don't have to say yes to going anywhere anyone asked us. We can actually use discernment Also.

Tabitha Westbrook: 9:48

Healing is possible, and that's our next theme. Healing is not linear. I wish it was, but it often looks like a bowl of spaghetti where everything is going up and down and over, but eventually you do get there and you are still moving forward. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. What was stolen from me, god could restore, and it may not be restored perfectly or exactly the way that we want it, but he does bring beauty from ashes, he does bring healing and hope. In those ways, joy is not impossible and I don't need to hedge my bets if I feel it.

Tabitha Westbrook: 10:27

There is this concept called foreboding joy, where it's like I'll feel it a little bit, but I'm waiting for that other shoe to drop. That is part of the abuse structure that we felt when we were in those places and being abused and tortured. Essentially, we didn't think that joy was sustainable. We didn't think that joy was just enough alone, that something else was going to happen. And look, I will level with you. Life is lifey. It gets really hard, but we can't just hedge our bets and hold it gently. We can fully feel joy, even if something hard happens afterward. I might feel broken, but I am being made whole. The scripture says that we are being changed day by day to be like Jesus and he is whole and we are being moved toward him every single day. Again, it may not feel like it. It may feel so hard and so difficult and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm listening to you say this and none of this feels true, and I hear you. I hear you, but these things are true. Nonetheless, they are true.

Tabitha Westbrook: 11:37

You are also not powerless. First of all, the spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in you. That is some serious power, because the last time I checked, getting up from the dead is a little something, so that's pretty intense, and that power lives in you. You also have survived all the things that have happened. Right now, to the best of my knowledge, I don't have any apparitions or ghosts that listen to this podcast. If you are one, feel free to send me a note because that would be interesting.

Tabitha Westbrook: 12:07

But I don't think you are, and you've made it this far, and I know that it hasn't been easy. In fact, it's been a road filled with potholes and valleys, and blood, sweat and tears in a million different ways. But you are still here. You have not crumbled. You may feel fragile, but you aren't actually fragile. You can walk with dignity, no matter what happened or is happening to you. You still can walk with dignity because you're a person made in the image and likeness of Christ. Never forget that God fights for you.

Tabitha Westbrook: 12:45

I know that again, some days it may not feel that way at all, but it is true nonetheless. Also, you're not crazy. I know that sometimes if you're in difficult situations you can feel pretty crazy, but you're not crazy. You're actually probably pretty sane, or at least as sane as the rest of us, and you are loved. You are so loved.

Tabitha Westbrook: 13:12

You're not invisible to God. He knows the hairs on your head. He is not rock concert Jesus. You're not invisible to God. He knows the hairs on your head. He is not rock concert Jesus. He's just looking out through this crowd of people going yeah, thank you, good night, and doesn't know you from a hill of tacos. He knows you, he knows everything about you and he loves you and he likes you. I know a lot of us can be like, oh yeah, he loves me, he's God, he has to do that. But we don't think he likes us and he does. He likes us. Jesus always stood with the hurting. He never chastised someone who was struggling and we also know that the Lord is our shepherd and we shall lack nothing.

Tabitha Westbrook: 13:52

I know some of you are out there thinking I am lacking a lot and I can't explain the truth of it when you're struggling in other areas, but I can promise you that it is true and he is with you. You belong to him and you've been sealed for the day of redemption. No one can take that seal away from you. I know that for some listening to this, even some of these words have been really difficult to reconcile, to feel, to even know what you're going to do with right, because the word of God and the concept of God has been just so stinking, distorted. I really, really hate that. I hate that so much for you. I hate that that's been your story and I hate that that's been your experience. I want to take a moment now to just read something over you that I wrote. I wrote it while I was talking with a survivor and I wrote it for this individual, but it is true for all of us, so I am actually going to read it here as well.

Tabitha Westbrook: 15:07

The name of this poem is I Didn't Ask. None of us asked to bear the label victim. It was thrust upon us by someone who chose to use us, to torture us, to consume us. None of us asked to bear the label survivor. It was wrapped around us as we fled for our lives, trying to breathe, as we bled, trying to find which way is up, trying to find the girl we lost. This can also be the guy we lost. I am taking the label overcomer. I chose this one. I am rising from the ashes in beauty and strength, an entirely new girl, far more lovely than I dared ever think.

Tabitha Westbrook: 15:57

I hope that you let those words just kind of marinate over you, whether you're male or female I know that it was a little bit gendered, but I am a girl and I was talking with a female survivor but those words are for you. You don't have to stay as either a victim or a survivor. You can be an overcomer. I know that in this moment those words may feel so incredibly untrue, but they are incredibly, very true, and I promise you that, as someone who stands on the other side of some really hard stuff herself, I can attest to the fact that things are definitely possible, that you never even dreamed A million things in my life that, when I look back, I'd never be here. But here I am, and I mean by here, I just like straight up, mean alive, honestly, because there are times I did not think that was going to occur and it did, and I really want to just be an encouragement. If it's helpful to you, if this podcast has been worth anything for you, I would encourage you to save this one and just listen to it when you need to Listen to the words and to the truth that are in it and give yourself some goodness. In fact, I would encourage you.

Tabitha Westbrook: 17:11

This is going to be a podcast with homework. I know some of you just heard the word homework and passed out, but it's not like that. We're not grading it. You've already got an A. It's fine, but I want you to write some of your own, like I wrote these. These are great and hopefully they resonated, at least on some level. Some of them resonated, but if they didn't, or if you're like I need more, I need some more that are applying to my situation then I would really encourage you to write your own.

Tabitha Westbrook: 17:40

Get yourself a little notebook or even a spiral bound index card set you can get those just about any office supply store or probably some sort of online purveyor and write these things down that you need to remember and look at them often. I know that seems a little bit cheesy, and every time I tell a client to do something like this, they're like rolling their eyes and telling me like, oh my gosh, ok, but then they do it and it's actually really helpful for them. In fact, I often will get an email or a text saying, oh, you're right, I can't believe it. It seems so cheesy and ridiculous. And I did it and it was really really helpful, and so I really just want to encourage you to go and be a little cheesy and write down the things that you need to remember.

Tabitha Westbrook: 18:26

It is so easy to slide into that negative space, especially when we are so used to it. We're so used to not thinking nicely about ourselves. We're so used to thinking negative and hard things, but we need to look more at the real truth of things versus always looking at the negative, and I really want to say thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of hey Tabby. I really hope that it has been a helpful one. Would love to hear from you, so drop me some information down in the comments or shoot me an email or follow me on instagram at tabitha the counselor.

Tabitha Westbrook: 19:05

If you haven't already picked it up, I encourage you to pick up body and soul healed and whole. An invitational guide to healthy sexuality after trauma, abuse and coercive control link is in the show notes and you can get it at any bookseller anywhere. Wherever you buy your book, you can get this book. I look forward to seeing you guys here again on our next episode of hey Tabby. Thanks for joining me for today's episode of hey Tabby. If you're looking for a resource that I mentioned in the show and you want to check out the show notes, head on over to tabithawestbrookcom, forward slash hey Tabby. That's H-E-Y-T-A-B-I and you can grab it there. I look forward to seeing you next time.